Carry
by Rosesdancinginmymind
Summary: An evolution of how Regina feels about being carried by Emma. A dash of angst but SQ fluff. Oneshot.


_Just a oneshot that popped into my head. It has its angstsy moments but this is mainly SQ fluff. I don't own Once or its characters. Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy :) _

_Summary: An evolution of how Regina feels about being carried by Emma. _

The first time Regina is carried by Emma is by necessity. The fire rages through the building and a ladder renders her unable to escape it. As she lies on those stairs terrified and trying to clumsily make her way away from the flames Regina does not even consider that Emma will save her. No-one ever saves. No-one ever has.

For a second Regina shuts her eyes thinking that this will be her end. She thinks of Henry and what will happen to her son. Emma would take her in but she can't imagine not being there to see him grow up.

Then arms wrap around her and lift off the ground. All she can do is blink in shock and stare in wonder at Emma. Her saviour. She wants to shudder at the thought but all she do is stare on stunned as Emma helps her.

She pushes down the feeling of warmth and ignores the slightly speeded thump of her heart as Emma carries her out of the window.

They're supposed to be enemies, the evil queen and the saviour. Emma is the greatest threat to her existence. The curse will break and she will lose her son. She's supposed to hate her.

She wishes she could but she loves how Emma challenges her. She loves how Emma doesn't just roll over and take everything like everyone else does, like they have to. Every interaction is tense yet fun. She can't help it but their fights spark a feeling in her that is nothing like hate.

Emma's arms wrap around her and she wants so badly to melt into the touch but she can't. Her brain reminds her of all the reasons why she can't and so as soon as they are out of the building Regina pushes those arms away and stubbornly hobbles on her sore ankle until the EMTs come with their stretcher.

As she lies on that stretcher she thinks of Emma carrying her out of the building. She forces the image out of her mind refusing to think of it because she can't. Too much is at stake for her to fall for Emma Swan and so she tries to push the memory of that carry out of her brain.

* * *

The next time Regina feels Emma lift her up and carry her slightly it's far too fleeting. Regina has given up trying to fight her feelings for Emma. She knows how she feels. She just can't tell her.

Instead she did something rash and stupid, a way to get rid of Emma than confront her feelings only it backfired. It backfired and nearly cost them both the thing they love most – Henry. The image of him in that hospital bed is seared into her brain. She can still feel how her heart stopped and her breath caught as she sobbed and despaired that he was dead.

Then Emma kissed him.

Henry woke and she got a chance to tell him she loves him. She doesn't know if he believed her. She hopes he does. She knows Emma will take care of him. She just prays that she hasn't lost him forever.

She doesn't know how Emma feels. The way Emma looked at her as she made her heartfelt confession to their son made her feel warm and safe. It was a look of understanding and compassion, two things she certainly didn't expect to get from the blonde.

She was put in the cell. She expected death and Rumple turned up with his wraith. Only then was she truly scared. She expected them all to leave her to die.

Then Emma saved her. Again. Those strong arms lift her off the cold ground and help her to the bars. She misses those arms the second they leave her though her hand stays close making sure Regina stays upright.

_"She's not dying" _

The strong determined words ring in her ears and her heart soars though she still can't find the words to say how much they mean to her.

All she knows is after a year of feeling alone and lost is that she finally feels worth something. Two people want to protect her, her son and Emma.

She lets those arms help her up to the Mayor's office. She would push away but she finds her legs are still shaking from the wraith's attack and so she lets Emma help her. She lets herself be carried if only for a moment.

She revels in that moment, of letting her walls down and feeling as if she matters to someone.

As with all moments where she lets herself feel safe and cared for it disappears far too soon thanks to a portal taking Emma away.

* * *

The weeks without Emma hurt more than Regina likes to admit. _For Henry. _She repeats the thought over and over that she is working to get Emma and her mother back purely for her son. It doesn't work. She can't tamp down the feeling in her heart when she thinks of the possibility of her mother hurting Emma or the idea of not seeing her again.

She knows there's more there than wanting to prove herself to her son.

She does. She wants Henry to know that she can be good, that there is redemption for her but as much as she's fighting for him she's fighting for herself too.

Rumple persuades her into the death curse through Henry. She knows he's right about Cora. She knows if her mother comes to town then Emma will have failed, that she will have been injured or killed. If Cora comes through then she is lost. There will be no saviour and she will lose her son too and so she agrees.

She agrees until Henry stops her. He believes in her. He convinces her to believe too.

It hurts. It hurts so badly. It might just be the worst physical pain she's ever experienced. She can feel the curse battling her magic and coursing through her body. It shocks every nerve ending and sends throbbing aches through her head and muscles. It hurts so much but she knows if Emma comes through it will be worth it.

She sucks up the last of the curse and the force throws her to the ground. No-one moves to help her. Rumple looks on in shock. Henry doesn't even look at her but at the well. She finds she can't blame him.

His eyes light up suddenly and he runs to the well shouting "Mom!"

For a moment her heart jumps in happiness but then reality crashes down. She sees him run into Emma's arms. The rejection hurts more than the curse. She wants so badly to stand, to turn and run from this reunion. She wanted Emma back but she forgot the pain that would come with her return and all the reasons why she cannot admit the truth.

Then Emma comes up to her and helps her off the ground and she leans into the touch on reflex. She curses herself immediately and tries to push away from the carrying hold of the saviour. Unfortunately the curse has left her off balance and so all she does I stumble against the tree as she finally says "Welcome back" with a sincere grin.

She may not be able to let herself admit the truth but she can be honest and say she's glad to have Emma back here. The twin smiles as she supports herself against that rough tree make the curse worth it.

As she watches Emma and Henry walk back into town she wishes a leather clad arm was wrapped around her and that she could be brave enough to accept the helping touch.

* * *

When Greg pushes that button one last time Regina is certain she will die. Each shock is more painful than the last. The only thing that keeps her going is the need to see her son again. She doubts anyone will come for her. After her mother's death she's kept her distance and so have they. Aside from Henry they have no reason to come save her and she has her doubts that he will ask them to.

As the world begins to fade to black around her she hears the pop of gunshots. She tries to look and see who her saviour is but she cannot raise the strength the move her head. It's getting harder to even keep her eyes open.

A voice rings through her pained haze. "Come on Regina. Don't you dare leave me okay? Henry needs you. I need you."

She smiles as she shuts her eyes. She recognises that voice. She prays her mind isn't just playing a trick on her.

Hands peels off the sticky electrodes on her head and unclasp the restraints binding her to the table. Regina hopes with all the strength she has left that the arms that lift her up aren't a figment of her imagination.

This time when she's carried she doesn't fight it and instead sinks into the touch hoping it will lead to safety.

When she opens her eyes hours late still weak and groggy she can feel that those arms are still wrapped around her. As the world comes into focus she sees blonde curls resting atop her stomach and smiles slightly.

"Hey" she says, her voice slightly hoarse and croaky from screaming.

Watery blue eyes raise to meet her own. Emma smiles in relief, "Hey" she practically sobs out before shifting to help Regina sit and still hold her.

She doesn't let go throughout the rest of the night.

Regina finds she doesn't mind. Instead she lets herself be carried through the night.

* * *

In Neverland there's no time for carrying. There's brief embraces and reassurances but they both are determined to remain strong so they can save their son. Even if they don't feel it they put on a brave face and a strong image hoping their confidence and combined power will be enough to save Henry.

Mercifully it was.

Regina saved Henry's heart. She got them back on the boat and woke him up. It was her magic that got the ship sailing.

Today Regina feels like a hero.

Henry hugs her and Emma tightly. He apologises but both forgive him instantly, their relief to have him back overwhelming anything else. Their eyes meet above his head and they both smile because they're all together again.

With Henry sleeping soundly in the captain's quarters Regina feels whole again. It was her he clung to and her who he asked to tuck him in. It's been so long since she had the chance to do so. He let her protect him with magic.

_He trusts me. He loves me. _

It's been a long time since Regina has been able to think that with certainty. Today she knows it's true. She smiles to herself as she lets Henry sleep. Throughout Neverland she no longer felt alone. She found a family with the people who she never expected would be. She found support and hope in Emma.

It's been a horrible experience but on this island she's found something she hopes she won't lose when they make it back to Storybrooke.

"Hey" Emma says as she comes up from behind Regina and wraps her arms around her. She rests her head atop Regina's shoulder.

"Hey" Regina replies resting her head against Emma's. Now they've had time to slow down and with Henry safe she feels exhausted. She yawns and frowns when Emma chuckles. "Come on Regina, let's go to sleep."

She moves to carry Regina but the brunette steps away with a stubborn look, "I don't need to be carried Emma." She still has issues with being vulnerable and open with people who aren't Emma and Henry. She can see the Charmings and Hook on the deck and she refuses to let herself be carried in front of them.

Emma follows her gaze and sighs, "I know you don't need to be but sometimes Regina it's okay to let yourself lean on someone."

Regina chews her lip trying to prevent her pride from overtaking her wish to be in Emma's arms. With a tentative smile she steps forward and lets Emma piggyback carry her down to the room where Henry sleeps.

Clinging tight to Emma she's asleep before they even get down the steps.

* * *

After a year together Emma still finds it utterly adorable when Regina falls asleep against her during family movie nights or when she finds the brunette slumped over and snoring over desk after a long day at work.

Regina occasionally still resists when Emma tries to carry her. Sometimes her pride gets to her and her stubbornness has her kicking to get down.

Although this happens a lot less now. As the months and day went by Regina has learned to open her heart and be open about her feelings. She isn't alone anymore nor is she so heavily guarded. She has a handful of friends. She has a son. She has a family and she has Emma.

As the weeks tick by she lets Emma carry her if she needs it. Emma's the only one she allows to hold her like this. Only Emma. In Emma's arms she always feels safe and taken care of. In Emma she finds love and serenity.

Emma runs up the stairs of Regina's office cursing herself for being late. She was supposed to pick her up an hour ago but her meeting ran ridiculously long.

An apology is on her lips as she bursts through the doors but it dies immediately when she sees Regina asleep on her couch, a book held loosely in her hands.

Emma smiles taking the book and placing it on the table. She moves to shake Regina awake knowing how whilst the brunette is happy to be carried in the confines of their home she still has issues with in public.

Regina stirs sleepily blinking her eyes before seeing Emma. "Hey" she mumbles groggily.

"Hey" Emma replies moving to help Regina stand. She frowns in confusion when Regina resists. Emma kneels down stroking back a stray brunette curl and looking for an answer.

Regina smiles at her, "Carry?" she asks.

Emma grins happy to comply before picking her up and carrying her down to the car so they can go home to their son.

_Hope you enjoyed. Thank you for reading :) _


End file.
